The super news team: The Capital Chronicle news team (pictured above as 20th century Marvel heroes) pokes fun at the recent youth obsession with the world’s new breed of super humans. From left: Jono Watkins, Nathan Berrett, Niquita Coats-Harrison, Tenzin Heatherbell, Ashley Betts, Eleanor Beeden, Robbie Wigmore.
The surreal physical feats achieved by enhanced athletes these days is bordering on superhuman. The recent homesite Our Super Heroes has caught the world by storm with its display of extreme physical feats never before seen by humans and animals alike. Francois Perec, a former builder from Paris, participated in one of the highest viewed events on the Network. Carrying a replica giraffe over each shoulder (weighing an approximated 1200kg each), he sped across a 400m obstacle course easily tackling the most strenuous of all obstacles; a 12m ladder from which Perec, still holding the giraffes, was suspended by the ankle.
Some super humans even strive to directly resemble fictional super heroes; Finnish born Jukka ‘The Hulk’ Saarelma has nearly fully transformed himself to mirror the appearance of fictional Super hero The Incredible Hulk. After multiple surgeries, skin pigmentation alterations and various concoctions of muscle incentives he now stands 7ft. 2 in. (218cm) and weighs an imposing 472kg of vivid green steel and muscle. Apart from his brand endorsement deals for Nike and Marvel comics he has been known to cameo in various films where he, not surprisingly, performs all his own stunts.
Fans of Mr. Saarelma have been known to queue for days awaiting him at public appearances, and applications at many bionic clinics have been on the rise since March last year.
Dr. Randall Warren of the Karori Bionic Institute says that the superhero fad has kept him busy.
“We’ve been fully booked out for the past 7 months, and we can’t see it letting up anytime soon. The majority of the applications are for bionic limbs, second to that would be muscle incentive treatment. We’ve been creating some really cool stuff here at the Institute”.
Today’s youth have been the most susceptible to the hype surrounding these new super humans; with videos on social media areas paralleling the popularity of classic YouTube posts after just one month. Many parents have raised their concerns about this craze, stating that the videos are putting too much pressure on their children.
Te Aro mother of three, Elizabeth Meuli, agrees with these claims.
“It’s a monstrosity that individuals undergo such twisted behaviour, but what’s worse is the fact our government allows this as a mainstream media. Our children are young and not yet able to discern for themselves how not alright this behaviour is.”
Though there may be some concern over the dramatic bodily changes that some people are undertaking, the majority of Wellington’s youth is just enjoying the chance to dress up as their favourite comic-book character.
We here at Capital Chronicle thought it timely to be super heroes ourselves. Who knows, perhaps one day we’ll have The Flash here, journalist Nathan Berrett, running the Water by Foot race around Wellington harbour in seconds.
For more outrageous physical feats visit www.oursuperheroes.hs.com or to lay a formal complaint please contact the Nyx Standards Authority slander@nsa.co.nz
No comments:
Post a Comment