The super news team: The Capital Chronicle news team (pictured above as 20th century Marvel heroes) pokes fun at the recent youth obsession with the world’s new breed of super humans. From left: Jono Watkins, Nathan Berrett, Niquita Coats-Harrison, Tenzin Heatherbell, Ashley Betts, Eleanor Beeden, Robbie Wigmore.
The surreal physical feats achievable by enhanced athletes these days is bordering on superhuman. The recent Nyx home site Our Super Heroes has caught the world by storm with its displays of extreme physical feats unseen by humans and animals alike. Some of the more outrageous displays were of a French man, Francois Perec, carrying a giraffe over each shoulder (each weighing an approximated 1200kg) across a 400m obstacle course. The most strenuous of the obstacles being a vertical 12m ladder in which Perec had to hold the two giraffes in one hand suspended from the ankle.
Some super humans even strive to directly resemble fictional super heroes; Finnish born Jukka ‘The Hulk’ Saarelma has nearly fully transformed himself to mirror the appearance of fictional Super hero The Incredible Hulk. After multiple surgeries, skin pigmentation alterations and various concoctions of muscle incentives he now stands 7ft. 2 in. (218cm) and weighs an imposing 472kg of vivid green steel and muscle. Apart from his brand endorsement deals for Nike and Marvel comics he has been known to cameo in various films where he of course performs all his own stunts.
Fans of Mr. Saarelma have been known to queue for days awaiting him at public appearances, and applications at many bionic clinics have been on the rise since March last year says Dr. Randall Warren “we’ve been fully booked out for the past 7 months, and we can’t see it letting up anytime soon. The majority of the applications are for biotic limbs, second to that would be muscle incentive treatment. We’ve been creating some really cool stuff here at the Institute”.
Today’s youth by character have been the most susceptible to the hype surrounding these new super humans; with videos on social media sites paralleling in popularity after one month to much more established ‘classic’ YouTube videos. Many parents have raised their concerns about this craze, one stating “it’s a monstrosity that individuals undergo such twisted behaviour, but what’s worse is the fact our government allows this as a mainstream media. Our children are young and not yet able to discern for themselves how not alright this behaviour is.”
We here at Capital Chronicle thought it timely to be super heroes ourselves. Who knows, perhaps one day we’ll have The Flash here, journalist Nathan Berrett, running the Water by Foot race around Wellington harbour in seconds.
For more outrageous physical feats visit www.oursuperheroes.hs.com or to lay a formal complaint please contact the Nyx Standards Authority slander@nsa.co.nz
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